Humans, as all living things, have a natural tendency to seek pleasure and avoid pain. Pursuing pleasure is the fundamental principle of Freudian psychoanalytic theory, which is basically human behaviour being influenced by unconscious memories, thoughts, and urges. However, of course, some existentialist philosophers disagreed and said that this does not actually reflect our real world experiences, and we should take responsibility for our own existence. Life is not merely a pursuit of pleasure but a continuous confrontation with challenges, uncertainties, and struggles that shape who we are.
One of the first people who applied existentialism’s principles to psychoanalysis was Rollo May. He thought that anxiety was a normal part of being human, just like any other type of pain. The real problem, which resulted in psychological problems, was the repression of negative emotions. When we deny or suppress emotions, they often manifest in other, more destructive ways; through stress, unhealthy coping mechanisms, or even physical illness. Instead of fearing or rejecting difficult emotions, May suggested that embracing them could be the key to growth. After all, emotions are not just fleeting reactions; they are signals that tell us something about our needs, and unresolved conflicts.
Therefore, instead of thinking of uncomfortable and unpleasant emotions as abnormal, we should learn to accept them. Painful feelings and circumstances are inevitable, but accepting rather than brushing them under the mat may help oneself achieve development. This idea aligns with many modern psychological approaches, such as mindfulness and acceptance based therapies, which emphasize the importance of sitting with discomfort instead of running from it. By allowing ourselves to experience sadness, anger, and fearfully, we can better understand our inner world and navigate life with greater resilience. True fulfilment does not come from the absence of suffering but from learning to coexist with it. This is evident in many areas; some of our most profound moments of connection and understanding arise in times of vulnerability. When we allow ourselves to feel, we cultivate empathy not only for ourselves but for others as well.
So feel. Don’t worry about what your friends, colleagues, or your neighbours might think when seeing you cry or laugh your head off. Every emotion deserves a moment to be felt through and through. After all, emotions, both painful and joyful, are what make us truly alive. It is through experiencing the full spectrum of human emotions that we develop wisdom, compassion, and strength.
“We all suffer, and we all triumph, and we all get to choose how we hold both.” -Demi Moore, Inside Out.